Funeral Masses and Memorial Masses

What Is a Funeral Mass? §

A man died on a Tuesday in March. On Wednesday his daughter sat down with the funeral director and the parish office to plan the wake, the Mass and the burial.

Those are the three principal rites of a Catholic funeral in the United States: the vigil for the deceased, often held at the wake; the funeral liturgy in church; and the rite of committal at the grave.¹ In these rites, canon law says, the Church asks spiritual help for the dead, honors their bodies, and brings the living the comfort of hope (canon 1176 §2).

When the funeral is in church, the Eucharist is “the heart of the Paschal reality of Christian death” (Catechism, 1689), and the Roman Missal’s instructions give the funeral Mass first place among all the Masses for the dead (General Instruction of the Roman Missal, 380). As the Mass begins, the body is sprinkled with holy water and covered with the pall.² After the prayer after Communion comes the final commendation, the last farewell before the body is taken to its grave (Catechism, 1690), which is celebrated only when the body is present (GIRM 384) or, in the United States, the ashes (Order of Christian Funerals, Appendix 2, 428).

A funeral can also be held without Mass, as a liturgy of the Word,¹ but the Church especially encourages the Mass (Order of Christian Funerals, 46).³

What Is a Memorial Mass? §

The same daughter’s uncle died in Arizona and was buried there, so she asked her own parish for a Mass for him, where his friends could come. That’s what is commonly called a memorial Mass:⁴ a Mass offered for someone who has died when neither the body nor the ashes are present.⁵ People ask for one when the burial has already taken place or the funeral was far away, or when the person gave their body to medical science.¹

It’s a common name, but not a liturgical one. “The title ‘Memorial Mass’ is not found in any of the liturgical books, including the Order of Christian Funerals,” as one priest writes.⁴ Without the body or the ashes there’s no final commendation (GIRM 384).

The names blur when the ashes have already been laid to rest: the Order’s appendix on cremation still calls the Mass that follows a funeral Mass, and leaves out the commendation, since it has already taken place (Order of Christian Funerals, Appendix 2, 422 to 424). Either way, the priest offers the Mass for the one who died.

Can You Have a Funeral Mass After Cremation? §

Yes. The Church still prefers burial, which the Holy See called in 2016 the most fitting way to express faith and hope in the resurrection of the body (Ad resurgendum cum Christo, 3). But she allows cremation:

Enixe commendat Ecclesia, ut pia consuetudo defunctorum corpora sepeliendi servetur; non tamen prohibet cremationem, nisi ob rationes christianae doctrinae contrarias electa fuerit.

The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the dead be kept; she does not, however, forbid cremation, unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.

Canon 1176 §3. Latin · The Holy See’s English · Our translation.

The Church recommends a funeral Mass with the body, and the cremation afterward (Order of Christian Funerals, Appendix 2, 418). If the cremation has already happened, the funeral Mass may be celebrated with the ashes present, in a worthy vessel where the coffin would stand, wherever the diocesan bishop allows it (426 to 427), under a permission the Holy See gave the United States in 1997.²

Afterward the ashes are to be laid to rest in a sacred place, such as a cemetery (Ad resurgendum, 5). They’re not to be kept at home: only in grave and exceptional cases that depend on local cultural conditions may the bishop, in agreement with the bishops’ conference, allow it. Nor are they to be divided among relatives (6), and “it is not permitted to scatter the ashes of the faithful departed in the air, on land, at sea or in some other way, nor may they be preserved in mementos, pieces of jewelry or other objects” (7).

Who Can Have a Catholic Funeral? §

Every Catholic who dies is to be given a church funeral (canon 1176 §1), and for funerals the law counts catechumens, those preparing for baptism, among the faithful (canon 1183). The bishop or his vicar may allow one for a child whose parents meant to have the child baptized, and for someone baptized in another church or Christian community, unless it was clearly against their wishes, and provided their own minister can’t be had (the same canon). In the Archdiocese of Boston, every priest in good standing has both permissions.¹

A church funeral, and any funeral Mass, is refused only to those who gave no sign of repentance before death and were notorious apostates, heretics or schismatics, chose cremation for reasons against the Christian faith, or were manifest sinners whose funeral would give public scandal (canons 1184 and 1185). Taking one’s own life isn’t among them.

For someone never baptized who wasn’t a catechumen, the Code provides no church funeral. But a priest may offer Mass for anyone, living or dead (canon 901), so you can ask for a Mass for them (the harder questions, one at a time).

When Can a Funeral Mass Not Be Celebrated? §

A funeral Mass may be celebrated on any day except solemnities that are holy days of obligation, Holy Thursday, the Easter Triduum, and the Sundays of Advent, Lent and the Easter season (GIRM 380). On those days the funeral can be held without Mass, and a Mass offered for the person on another day.¹ Sundays in Ordinary Time are allowed, though the Archdiocese of Boston, for one, discourages funeral Masses then.¹

The funeral is generally held in the person’s own parish church, but you may choose another with its pastor’s consent, once the person’s own pastor has been told (canon 1177).

Masses and Mass Cards After the Funeral §

A parish Mass card at the wake means a friend has asked for another Mass for them, usually on a later day, and the parish writes it in its book (canon 958; what to write inside). A card can come from any Catholic parish, and any friend may send one.⁶

If the funeral was held without Mass, the Order of Christian Funerals asks for a Mass for the person later, if possible (46).³ Many people also ask for one about a month on and on each anniversary (the customs, from the month’s mind to All Souls). Ask the parish office, and say who the Mass is for and that they’ve died (what to say, step by step).

What Is the Offering for a Funeral? §

It isn’t the offering you give with a Mass intention. For funerals, as for the sacraments, the bishops of each province set the offering, and the law adds that there’s to be no favoritism in funerals and that the poor are not to be deprived of a fitting funeral (canons 1181 and 1264). A funeral is a duty entrusted to the pastor, and an offering given for one goes to the parish, whoever carried it out, unless the giver clearly meant otherwise (canons 530 and 531). Some dioceses still call it a stole fee,⁷ but the Code’s word for it is offering.

Ask the parish office or the funeral director what’s customary where you live. In Boston, funeral directors are to be told to list the Church’s part only as an offering, one the funeral doesn’t depend on, with the organist and cantor paid separately, and every parish is to have a plan for those in financial hardship.¹ If you’d like to thank the priest himself, say the gift is for him, or it’s presumed to be the parish’s.⁷ The offering for a Mass intention is a separate figure (the published figures).