What to Write in a Mass Card
What to write inside a Mass card and on its envelope, with short examples for a parent, a spouse, a child or a friend, and how to thank someone for one.
Written by Elias Nolin
In Short
In a Mass card, a line or two in your own words is enough: say you’re sorry, use the name of the person who died, say you’re praying, and sign with the name they know you by. The card already says the important thing, that a priest will offer a Mass for that person, so you don’t need to explain it. On the envelope, write “The Family of” and the name of the one who died, or the name of whoever was closest to them.
What a Mass Card Means
When someone hands you a Mass card at a wake, they’re telling you that a priest will offer a Mass for the person you’ve lost. Many cards have the words already printed inside, something like “The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass will be offered for the repose of the soul of...”, with a line for that person’s name and one for yours.1
The Church has offered the Mass for the dead from the beginning (Catechism, 1032). When St. Monica was dying at Ostia, on the way home to Africa with her sons,2 she asked them for only one thing: “I simply ask you to remember me at the Lord’s altar wherever you are.” The Catechism quotes her where it teaches that the Eucharist is offered for the faithful departed, “so that they may be able to enter into the light and peace of Christ” (Catechism, 1371).
Behind a parish Mass card is one particular Mass. The priest applies it for that person, which is the Church’s word for offering it for them (canon 901). Each offering given and accepted is owed a Mass of its own (canon 948), and the parish writes it in a book kept for the purpose: the intention, the offering, and the Mass once it has been said (canon 958).
That’s more than a name simply remembered in the prayers at Mass, good as that is. In 2025 the Dicastery for the Clergy told bishops and pastors to make plain to everyone the difference between a Mass applied for someone and a simple remembrance (decree of 13 April 2025, Art. 4 §2, in Italian).
Not every card called a Mass card works this way. Many religious communities offer enrollment cards: the person is enrolled in the Masses and prayers the community offers for everyone on its list, often for a year, or for always in a perpetual enrollment.3 That’s a real gift of prayer, and a good one to give. It’s simply a different promise from a parish card, which is one Mass for one person on a day the parish can tell you. Wherever you go, ask what the card promises (the questions worth asking).
To give one, ask a parish office for a Mass card when you ask for the Mass. It needn’t be the parish where the funeral is, and you needn’t be Catholic: as one parish puts it, Mass cards “may be sent by Catholic or non-Catholic friends.”4 It’s customary to give an offering with the request, and the Church urges priests to offer Mass for people’s intentions even when nothing has been given (canon 945).
What to Write Inside
Write as you’d speak to them at the door, and add a memory if one comes to you. Emily Post’s advice for any sympathy note is that a single sincere line is enough, and that it’s best not to dwell on the illness or the manner of death.5
If the parish gave you the day, the time and the church, write them in, so they can go if they’d like to.
You don’t need to explain the Mass to a Catholic household. With parents who have lost a child, don’t try to explain anything at all.
For a Mother
- Your mom was the first person to say hello to me at [Parish]. I’ve asked for a Mass for her, and I’m praying for you.
- I’m so sorry about your mother. A Mass will be offered for her at [Parish] on the 14th, at 8 AM.
- She was so proud of you. Praying for her, and for you.
For a Father
- Your father never missed the 7:30 on Sunday. It seemed right to ask for a Mass for him.
- Praying for your dad, and for all of you.
For a Husband or Wife
- [Name] was a good and gentle man. A Mass will be offered for him, and I’m keeping you in my prayers every day.
- I can’t think of one of you without the other. There will be a Mass for [Name] at [Parish], and I’m praying for you.
- May he rest in peace. With love, and a Mass for [Name].
For a Child
Keep it short.
- We are so very sorry. We’ve asked for a Mass for [Name], and we’re praying for all of you.
- We’re holding [Name], and all of you, in our prayers. A Mass will be offered for her at [Parish].
- Thinking of you every day. With love.
For a Friend
- [Name] was a friend to so many of us, and I’ll miss her laugh. I’ve asked for a Mass for the repose of her soul.
- I’ll be at the Mass for [Name] on the 9th. Would you like to come with me?
For a Colleague
- [Name] made our office a kinder place. A Mass will be offered for him, and you’re in my prayers.
- I worked beside [Name] for 11 years and never once heard her complain. A Mass will be said for her at [Parish]. With deepest sympathy.
When They Aren’t Catholic
One plain sentence about what the card means is all it needs.
- Catholics have a custom of asking for a Mass for someone who has died. I’ve asked for one for your father, with all my sympathy.
- In my church the best prayer we know is the Mass, and a priest will offer one for [Name]. I wanted you to know she’s being prayed for.
- A priest will offer a Mass for your mother. It’s how Catholics pray for someone they love.
For Someone Who Is Ill
- A Mass will be offered for you at [Parish] on the 9th. I’m praying for your recovery, and I’ll be there.
- I asked Father to offer a Mass for you this week. Get some sleep, and let us do the praying.
What to Write on the Envelope
After a death, “The Family of [Name]” is a common way to address a Mass card meant for the whole household, or when you aren’t sure whom to name. If you knew her well but don’t know them, Emily Post’s advice is to write to the closest relative, usually the widow, the widower or the eldest child, adding “and Family” if you like. If a friend’s parent has died, write to your friend.5
- The Family of [Name]
- Mr. [Name] and Family (her husband)
- [Name] (a friend whose father died)
A card for someone living is addressed to them. If you’re handing it over at the wake or the funeral, the envelope needs only the name. If the parish is mailing it for you, give the office the address when you ask, and put your own on the envelope so they can reply.
From a Group
An office, a class, a team or a parish group often gives one card together. When everyone’s gifts are gathered and handed over as one offering, the parish doesn’t owe a Mass for each person who gave: the law counts offerings given and accepted, not the people who gave toward them (canon 948).
Tell the office what you mean. When a sum is given for Masses without saying how many, canon law counts them by the customary offering where the giver lives (canon 950), so a generous collection may become several Masses. If you mean one Mass, say so: a priest may accept a larger offering when it’s freely given (canon 952).
Sign it as the group, and tuck the names inside if you like.
- From your friends at [Company]. We’ve asked for a Mass for your mother, and we’re all thinking of you.
- The fourth grade at [School] is praying for your dad, and for you.
- With sympathy from the [Parish] Altar Society. We’ll miss [Name] every Saturday morning.
What Is a Spiritual Bouquet?
A spiritual bouquet is a card listing the prayers you, or a group, will offer for someone: Masses you’ll go to for them, Holy Communions, rosaries, a Holy Hour. It’s an old devotion, given before a big day such as a first Communion or a wedding, or to someone going through a hard time.6
Praying for someone at Mass is real prayer for them, and the Church commends more than the Mass alone as help for the dead: “almsgiving, indulgences, and works of penance undertaken on behalf of the dead” (Catechism, 1032). But applying a Mass for someone is the priest’s act (canon 901). So “Masses attended” on a bouquet means Masses where you’ll pray for the person, not Masses said for them. A bouquet can go with a Mass card or stand on its own.
A Spiritual Bouquet for [Name]
- Masses attended: 6
- Holy Communions offered: 6
- Rosaries: 10
- A Holy Hour
From the Altar Society of [Parish]
Or, from one person, in a line:
- Until your surgery, I’ll offer my Communion for you every Sunday and pray a rosary for you every night.
Thanking Someone for a Mass Card
No Church law asks for a thank-you note, but etiquette does. Emily Post lists Mass cards among the things that should be acknowledged, if possible, and says a relative or a friend may write the notes for you.5 One line is enough.
- Thank you for the Mass for Mom. It means so much to know she’s being prayed for.
- Thank you for the Mass for [Name]. We’ll be at [Parish] on the 14th, if you’d like to join us.
- Thank you all for the Mass for [Name], and please thank everyone in the office for us.
- Mom asked me to thank you for the Mass card for Dad. It was a comfort to her.
- Thank you for the Mass card, and for your prayers.
If the card names the day and the church, you’re welcome to go, and so is the person who sent it.
Questions
Can I Give a Mass Card to Someone Who Isn’t Catholic?
Yes. A priest may apply the Mass for anyone at all, living or dead (canon 901), and the Catechism says the intercession of Christians “recognizes no boundaries” (Catechism, 2636). Fr. Kenneth Doyle, taking up this question in his column, wrote that he had found Protestants “consistently grateful” for one.7 Add one sentence saying what the card means, as in the examples above. If you’re worried it might give offense, you can ask for the Mass and leave the card out, as one Catholic writer suggests, though he thinks the risk is small.8 The Mass is offered for the person either way.
Can a Mass Card Be for Someone Living?
Yes. Canon 901 covers the living as fully as the dead, and people ask for Masses for someone who is ill or facing surgery, on a birthday, or for a wedding anniversary. Rather than “for the repose of the soul of”, cards for the living often read “for the intentions of” the person.1 If your parish prints the week’s intentions, think before giving a living person’s health as the reason (Names in the Bulletin).
When Should I Send It?
Whenever you hear. Many people bring a Mass card to the wake or the funeral, or send one in the weeks after, and an anniversary is a good time too. The Roman Missal singles out three moments for a Mass for the dead: the news of the death, the burial and the first anniversary (General Instruction of the Roman Missal, 381). The Mass itself may be some weeks away, depending on which Masses your parish still has open, so the card can give the date or say simply that a Mass will be offered.
Sources
All sources checked on 13 October 2026.
Church Documents
- Code of Canon Law (1983), Book IV, canons 901, 945, 948, 950, 952 and 958, in Latin, and the Holy See’s English (Book IV, canons 879 to 958). Canons 945 to 958 are also on The Canons on Mass Offerings, in Latin with our translation.
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1030 to 1032.
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1371, with St. Monica’s words (footnote 192: Confessions 9, 11, 27).
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2634 to 2636.
- General Instruction of the Roman Missal, 381, the text on the USCCB’s site.
- Dicastery for the Clergy, Decreto sulla disciplina delle intenzioni delle Sante Messe, 13 April 2025, Art. 4 §2. The Italian is the only official text.
Other Sources
- Congregation of Holy Cross, United States Province, “Mass Intentions,” with the printed wording of its cards. https://www.holycrossusa.org/holy-cross-association/mass-intentions/ (practice) ↑
- Augustine, Confessions, Book IX (8.17 and 11.27), in Latin. The Latin Library. https://www.thelatinlibrary.com/augustine/conf9.shtml ↑
- Oblates of the Virgin Mary, “Perpetual Mass Enrollment.” One religious community’s description of an enrollment. https://www.omvusa.org/our-work/masses-memorials/perpetual-mass-enrollment/ (practice) ↑
- Sacred Heart Parish, Lebanon, New Hampshire, “Funeral Information.” https://www.sacredheartlebanon.org/funeral-information.html (one parish’s practice) ↑
- The Emily Post Institute, “Sympathy Notes and Letters.” https://emilypost.com/advice/sympathy-notes-and-letters (etiquette) ↑
- Zoey Maraist, “What is a spiritual bouquet? Here’s what you need to know.” OSV News, 3 September 2025. https://www.osvnews.com/what-is-a-spiritual-bouquet-heres-what-you-need-to-know/ (practice) ↑
- Fr. Kenneth Doyle, “Yes, memorial Mass can be said for non-Catholics.” Catholic News Service, on CatholicPhilly, 22 October 2019. https://catholicphilly.com/2019/10/catholic-spirituality/yes-memorial-mass-can-be-said-for-non-catholics/ (a priest’s column: practice) ↑
- Rick Becker, “Why You Should Give Mass Cards to Protestants.” National Catholic Register, 19 June 2015. https://www.ncregister.com/blog/why-you-should-give-mass-cards-to-protestants (a Catholic writer: practice) ↑